Well this was meant to be a diary, so here’s a good rant.
First, my parents. I was sat working, feeling surprisingly motivated to do chemistry revision, and I was in the living room as usual. I feel so much less distracted there than in my own room.And they come home, drunk, and my mum asks if its okay for them ‘to be in here’. At first I was thinking thats unusually polite, until I realised how sulkily she was saying it. So they come in and turn the tv on nice and loudly, and start discussing whatever rubbish they were watching, even more loudly. Fair enough, watch tv, but no need to have it on that loud if you’re going to talk over it.
I can’t help but feel that I am being selfish about the whole thing, but I don’t think its unreasonable to not want to work in my room. I know thats what my desk is for, but since I spend every day in there doing whatever I fancy, its soo easy to get distracted. There’s nowhere else to go. We have literally got the living room and the kitchen, so even when I don’t want to work, my room is the only place to go, since they are always in the living room and watching rubbish on tv. I went to my friends house, and she had basically spread herself out in the dining room for revision - nothing in there to be distracted by, and my boyfriend has got the sun room.
This is why I think I’d like to go and work in the library - but the problem with that is I can’t possibly carry all the notes and textbooks I’d need for a days revision. Very difficult, and makes me pretty annoyed. Now I’m too worked up to work in my room - which is why I’m ranting on here.
Second thing I wanted to write about was my boyfriend. He is soo wonderful, and I really do love him. But I hate how blunt he is sometimes. It feels like when he has a strong opinion on something (everything) he has to get it out, and I can not get a word in edgeways when he’s like that. It’s like I’m not allowed to disagree. Not that I could - I don’t have a chance to get my point across. When I agree with him, its fine, I don’t mind not being able to get anything out. When I don’t agree, I feel like I’m sitting there and taking him lecturing at me. Even if its just a tiny thing, it just makes me feel awful.
When I spoke to him about it before, it caused probably the biggest argument we’ve had, and he promised he’d try and think a little bit more before he gets so aggressive about sharing his opinion. But he hasn’t. Yesterday I text him to tell him about me and my mum not being able to find two of the shops we were looking for, and he replied saying something like thats a bit pathetic. That hurt me. And today I mentioned something completely different, and he went off on one saying how ridiculous something was. I tried probably three times to start a sentence that contradicted him, but he interrupted me everytime. I don’t think we need to agree on everything, far from it, but if we need to at least agree to disagree. Rather than my opinion being shot to flames every time.
I think thats probably the only thing that really gets to me about him. And its worse now, knowing that I’ve told him that it hurts me, but he just did it again. I don’t want to have to talk to him about it another time, because it made everything rubbish last time.